I’m only 4 pounds away from my second goal weight. Asdfghjk.
This summer has been so incredibly tough. I moved out of my house and back in with my parents; leaving me back where the whole weight problem started. I was faced with countless temptations every single day, and I went from living across the street from the gym to living 30 minutes away from one. On top of that, I went through a tough break up. Its just insane.
And I’ve been so down on myself for how slow my progress has been. But I just realized that with 5 more pounds gone, I’ll finally be under 200. I’ll be 199. I haven’t been under 200 since… Probably middle school. Even though progress was slow, it was still progress. And I need to remember how far I’ve come. Almost 40 pounds down, 40 pounds to go.
HALF WAY THERE, BABY
Reaching up to wash your hair after an arm day.
So when I can’t sleep there’s like no one up to talk to me D;
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?! I’M TIRED.
I seriously never thought I would say that. 6 months ago, give me a carton of ice cream, some chips, a few beers and a big screen tv and I was good to go. Now when I get stressed and have a lot on my mind, all I have to do is take an hour and run or even walk and its like all thats on my mind melts away. My head clears up and I feel all happy and carefree. I’m a completely different person than I was only a few months ago… It’s insane.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I don’t mean just glancing to check my hair or something. I mean really stood there and looked at myself. and in a way, it let me see how far I’ve come from where I was only 4 months ago… but at the same time I realized that I don’t fully love who I am. and it scared me. I know I need to work on it, but I’ve had such a negative body image for so long that even though I’m starting to change, that old reflection is still there in my head. how should I expect anyone else to love me, if I don’t love myself?
Tomorrow I find out If I have to have surgery on my foot or not. Asdfghjkl. I’m seriously hoping I don’t. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t run or swim for the next couple months.
so, I’ve never really lived alone before. I went from living with my family, to living with my girlfriend, to living with my roommate… therefor I never really realized how paranoid and afraid of being alone I am. I’m staying at my dads house for two weeks while he’s out of town to take care of his damn cat, and I’m so freaking out right now. I keep hearing noises, and I feel like someone is watching me from the window. and I keep thinking that someone’s gonna pop out and grab me.. skjfkskfasjfd. I wish someone was here with me ugh. why did I let my little brother convince me to watch scary movies all summer?! I’m going to curl up in a little ball under the blankets and hope I make it to morning.
I definitely love having my new big pretty water bottle c: it makes me way more excited to guzzle water all day. Beat the minimum 64 by over double.
Downside: I’ve peed every 7 minutes.
I’m so use to going into a store and just buying what fits.. so as I was in the store today shopping for new shorts, (the ones I bought last week are now to big) I started trying on things… And they all fit. Which is something I’m not use to. Moral of the story… Went into the store for shorts, came out 100 dollars later with a new wardrobe. I’m now broke again.